Night Noises Read online

  The woodsman warmed some milk.

  That night they laid the baby between them on their bed, where she cried herself to sleep.

  When the couple woke at dawn their new daughter had vanished; in her place lay a baby bird, crushed and cold.

  "Wandering at Night"

  I ain't writ yet about my dream

  from night before last

  but it's certainly brought to mind some serious questions:

  Why was there a brick wall

  (painted a greeny-grey)

  at the bottom of the stairs

  instead of the door that's usually there?

  Why was that figure,

  covered head to toe

  in a charcoal-grey-almost-black sheet, standin' stiff as a scarecrow

  at the top of the stairs

  when I tried to walk back up?

  Why did he

  crumple like dry twigs and fresh laundry when I pushed past him

  and headed back to the bedroom?

  Why was he standin' again when I glanced glanced glanced over my shoulder

  after trotting by the empty sheet sloshed on the floor?

  Where did that mirror come from? Why was the reflected figures' arms raised in a gonna-git-ya gesture as I shuffled my zombie way back to my sleep chamber?

  And why did I crawl back into bed

  instead of bothering

  to find some way downstairs

  and finish unclogging the bath-tub-drain

  which was the reason I got outta bed in the first place?

  I dunno.

  ---------'Bout 2 in the A.M.,

  I did go back downstairs,

  past the no-mirror-there

  beyond the not-a-spooky-sheet-guy through the non-brick-wall

  and into the bathroom

  to dump some chemma-goo

  into the stagnant-n-scum tub water

  and I scrimpled my brow,

  disappointed with reality,

  'cuz no matter how hard I tried

  I couldn't convince myself

  that a cotton-sheet-clad spook-ghost-spectre was gonna be waiting for me

  at the top of the stairs

  to pop out and say "Hey!"

  when I headed back up.

  And that's a shame. It's just more damn exciting to wander the house

  in a dream.

  "Up the Stairs"

  I heard her climbing

  up the stairs Opened my eyes in time to see her shadow pass the uncurtained window at the far end of the attic

  Crawling deeper under my blankets I shivered

  a cold fever

  and stifled a panicked cry

  Slowly

  like a sleepwalker

  she crossed the distances that separated us

  Grey but glowing

  decomposing She drew nearer

  And I felt her sorrow her cold She raised a skeletal arm

  perhaps to caress my hair but I crept further away

  "Touch my hand" she whispered I tried to scream

  but my throat was clamped shut I closed my eyes

  Forced my head to turn away

  Wished she would leave me alone And she did

  "Dream - 26 Feb 2008"

  1. In my dining room

  only in the dream

  it's not my dining room

  it's Grandma's dining room

  again

  This house was hers

  before my wife and I bought it Grandma and Uncle Randy are sitting at the table not really talking

  just sitting

  Maybe Grandma is reading the paper I notice Grandpa Bob

  sitting at the far end of the table

  wearing his massive sunglasses

  a blue flannel jacket over a white t-shirt and grinning a broad, disconcerting grin

  Like Granny and Randy

  he's not talking

  just sitting there

  smiling

  And then I remember

  that he's dead

  2.

  I wonder if I'm the only one who sees him He isn't moving

  like the "ghosts" in Turn of the Screw but neither are the other two

  I always jump to the supernatural conclusion first so I assume

  of course

  that he's a phantom

  3. Uncle Randy

  in his deep, booming voice says

  "So--

  What do you think?"

  I'm not sure what to think "Pretty realistic, isn't he?" Randy nods his head in Bob's direction

  And then

  somehow

  I realize I'm looking at a Bob-robot

  He's a placeholder

  created to simulate Bob's presence but he isn't very sophisticated

  He can smile

  and listen

  Two things Bob did well in life but that's about it

  I wonder why someone would want a fake floating around the house

  and I suspect my Uncle Randy with his lust for gadgetry

  was more responsible for the replica than Granny

  Who just sits there

  quietly

  maybe reading the paper

  I never suspect

  that she is a replica too

  "Lighthouses"

  Are there any lighthouses

  that are not haunted?

  I would hope not Think about what a lighthouse is for:

  keeping boats from losing their way

  in dangerous waters

  and sailors from socializing

  with the fish

  I like to think that lighthouse keepers

  in charge of the safety

  of who knows how many sea travelers would be a dedicated lot

  unable to let a simple thing like death get in the way of performing

  their solemn duty

  A dark night

  waves wrestling with a wooden fishing boat assassin rocks just under the surface of the water like trolls waiting under a bridge

  anticipating the crunch and crackle

  of their stone teeth cutting through hull

  And only that thin beam

  the shining eye of the lighthouse lamp keeping our desperate sailors on course

  I would image that all lighthouses are haunted

  Especially those

  where the light has gone out

  "Snow Driving"

  Late March blizzard

  Three decades in the Northwest I remember no other

  On the road

  yawning

  me towards sleep

  the road to life

  Snow swirls and dances

  in front of the headlights a psychedelic fun-house trip in black and white

  Coyote crosses in front of me

  left to right

  a long way from home

  Little mouse

  winking her black eye

  makes her way next

  right to left

  They teach me to drive

  slow

  cautious and alert

  Some roads are vampires

  greedy for blood I imagine Mariah

  waiting for me

  half napping on the couch

  I come through the door

  silent

  frozen faced

  walking past without a glance up the stairs

  away

  evaporating into darkness

  The next day

  the patrolman arrives with the news

  Out of control

  embankment river-deep

  But my teachers are wise tonight and only a fool

  ignores good advice

  I'm no fool

  (when the wind is right) I learn my lesson

  grip the wheel

  and drive, drive

  As I saunter

  casual and calm into town

  the blizzard subsides

  And the road

  still hungry

  falls back to
sleep

  "Monster Duck, Glowing Bull, and One Eyed Frog"

  "Our sky is cracked"

  said tiny Glowing Bull

  who is always looking up

  "Meteor bombardment"

  said One Eyed Frog

  willing to speculate

  From his hanging prison

  Monster Duck laughed

  coldly

  and clicked his beak

  full of pointy teeth

  "Now I see a red bloom in the heavens"

  said Glowing Bull "I can't spy it"

  said One Eyed Frog

  squinting his one good eye

  "but it may be a satellite"

  Monster Duck gnawed his bars

  as he watched the astronomers

  and dangled in his cage

  "And now I recognize a golden chain

  wrapping around itself"

  said Glowing Bull

  "Ah yes, the links of eternity"

  hummed One Eyed Frog

  closing his one eye

  to peer better inward

  Monster Duck snarled in his cage

  then spoke

  "You do not glow, Glowing Bull You refract

  The source of your light is external"

  Glowing Bull could not look down

  even far enough to see Monster Duck's cage hanging above the abyss

  "What does he mean, my friend?"

  Glowing Bull asked One Eyed Frog

  One Eyed Frog flexed his flippers but would not speculate

  "Pretty Little Things"

  Into the room they floated

  from where I couldn't say Dozens of little creatures glowing red like Christmas lights a school of candy fish

  swimming through the air as if it were fluid

  I watched through half closed eyes

  as they swirled

  little bodies sometimes darting away from the group

  then diving back into the central mass creating lines and arcs of light against the shadows of the attic

  I noticed

  after a moment

  the cat

  stalking the mass

  tracking this strange prey

  already tasting the glowing flesh in his jaws

  In range

  he leapt

  claws stretched needle teeth exposed

  But like a forest fire blown by a strong wind these pretty little things

  moved on him as well

  They swarmed the hunter

  wrapping his body in mid-air I heard faintly

  as if from under water a scream

  And then the mass uncoiled

  dropping fragments of bone onto the ancient linoleum floor and they resumed their air dance so smooth

  so soothing

  I watched

  unmoving

  unbreathing

  as they swam and played around the room lighting corners long hidden in shadow

  I watched

  unmoving

  unbreathing

  as the creatures swirled calmly in the air slowly floating towards

  my bed

  But I was a statue

  a rock

  did nothing to attract their attention

  So they floated passed me

  and out my open window

  towards the sounds of children playing in the streets below

  "Its Pusht"

  Wicked Wiles

  and Bleedn Stumpts Do NOT EAT

  DRI -ING

  A Gent

  "Crushed by the Wheels of Industry" said our friendz

  in HEAVEN

  Itz punk

  It ain't punk

  Its wig is broke

  No one ever never

  wanted one

  two three

  too won

  Boom.

  Iz Iz iznt Never

  Non no one No Know

  N -oh More

  Elephant consumption

  Limpid luminus Linus + Loosy

  Lose E

  BEEF Where its at

  Rock + Roll

  is the only Vessil

  Don't stop the Rock

  It don't move Less its pusht It

  "Night Noises"

  1.

  Wake up world! You're wasting a valuable resource here makin’ me spend so much time

  workin'

  instead of really workin'

  Your fuckin' loss

  really

  And you might never even know it

  2.

  Choppy up yo' head

  Cook ya in a pot

  Throw ya bones out back

  in the trash

  Picked up every Thursday

  Will ya remains start to smell bad before then?

  Or just smell like old soup?

  Old chicken soup

  3.

  Maybe this is all for me Maybe you're trespassing Maybe you don't belong Maybe you need'a leave and go go go

  Daddy-o!

  Ask yourself

  Do you feel...

  Do you feel something or nothin'

  or no no

  yes yes?

  Do you like it?

  Maybe you don't belong Maybe neither of us belongs 4.

  Jaw lock

  No combination

  My tongue will never be stolen now

  5.

  Sort out your feelings

  (Tie the matching feelings together so you don't have to dig them out later)

  Wet socks anger me

  Lunch is a problem

  How do we solve such a difficult issue? Where will we park?

  Numbness is over-rated and under-cooked Leaking is prohibited by law

  and elastic

  Clothes should be worn at all times 6.

  Rowdy collusion

  Over bacon

  Don't rock the tea-cup Plow thru dining

  Membrane eatery racket testing Nose-bleed

  Try not to be elated

  Ever feel like tiny bugs

  are crawling on your face

  but you can't feel them with your fingers and you scratch scratch

  until your face is red

  but no dead bug bodies

  are clogging your under-nails?

  8.

  I do fear gravity

  I know it's gunnin' for me Pullin' me down

  Wrote to my congressman and complained

  Fuckin' jerk

  9.

  Back-pack track

  Lost in the forest at night Alone

  Unwanted

  Haunted

  Hungry

  But unfortunately out of jacks (Flap??)

  How to secure supplies? How LIES!

  Never trust How.

  Ssssssss

  I'm being chased

  by contortionist snakes Bassssking in the glow of the paper light

  But paper burns

  (Don't they know?

  It could all be over soon)

  10.

  Our chickens claw the ground while yours hide their beaks!

  My eye-brows are trouble

  Growing

  Expanding

  Reaching out into the universe But looking for what?

  Like plants reaching for the sun?

  Paralyzed aquarium

  Momentum rocket

  Popular fig treat method Polarized excitement tremor

  Unruly abuse

  Corn starch

  Habit breaking trouser crunch--No! Crutch (Funnier)

  Your liver is wasted on the young

  Devour their hearts to save fuel

  11.

  Hop heads form biased legions Fear eats at the frozen kennel Only the sour survive

  Mutant tax Wax upset No noise Filter

  13.

  Ratchet full of happy pills perks ya right up!

  Chemical laugh

  Popping hardy-har-hars Do you sleep?

  14.

  Things that can't be moving are moving


  to my eyes

  And I'm really not worried by that Ultimate questions can't be answered but absolutely

  must be asked

  "Identity Politics"

  1.

  I was born a long time ago So long ago

  in fact

  that even I can't remember it 2.

  Sometimes

  well

  no

  most of the time

  I'm suspicious

  of reality

  I was infected

  by The Twilight Zone

  as a kid

  and I always half-suspect that the normal world

  could break down

  at any moment

  and suddenly

  I won't know the new rules of existence

  It's a spooky frame of mind to live with

  to live under

  I wouldn't recommend it for most

  Dragged to the Sizzler despite my tiredness

  (long day at the lit-mines)

  Now

  dizzily awaiting

  my Hibatchi chicken

  4.

  I wonder

  about the

  purpose of most of the things I do Why can't I just be like all

  the rest?

  Whole...yet...

  5.

  An old woman talks to her dog as she climbs into her car

  I imagine

  the animal

  is her best friend

  6.

  An old man

  thick white hair

  leafy hunting coat

  standing by the side of the road in front of his RV

  A Fireball

  As dozens of cars roll past he pounds his fist

  on the Fireball's hood and curses

  7.

  It is primarily in those situations in which I am forced

  to be around a great many people that I am reminded

  of how much

  I dislike the human species

  8.

  Hooray for misfortune! It's amazing how something apparently so negative can lead

  to a postive

  effect

  9.

  That morning

  I said

  "I'm as tired as a cliff with vegetables falling off of it" and I don't think

  Mariah cared

  for it

  (But I did)

  10.

  Need to trim my beard I'm starting to look like a grizzled, old mountain man

  mysteriously stuffed into a Blondie t-shirt and black slacks

  Ate too many cookies

  after dinner

  Still had milk left in my cup and I didn't want

  it to go to waste

  Waste Not

  12.

  A wasted waist is very different from

  a waisted waste

  13.

  This is the dance

  of the good devil

  Punk and techno are the same thing only louder

  Slouching towards Portland to be bored